We Are Legend

9 Nov

I’m not going to get into how shocked I am, yeah, I’m shocked. I’m not going to be fatalistic about life now, because you know what?…. Not one thing that is important to me about “the future” is changed by this stunning election result. I’ve been more profoundly stunned by other things in life. The important things about my life remain where they are, offering golden opportunities to me, and I GET to continue trusting, serving and loving more and more the force that guides my actions according to deep loves, cares, kindness, self awareness, protectiveness, selflessness, and our collective growth. It’s still all about letting a greater life for everyone emerge from what’s been so terrifically stripped away to give me the toughest and most generous challenges, and the deepest discoveries about a better self being made for higher purposes. What’s important about my life according to what it calls me to do for it now doesn’t change a bit… “blood of my blood” and “bone of my bone” at its ancient, guiding heart. Teaching us what we have to give up, to learn what we truly have to give… discovering our greatest lessons. Creation and creative forces give me and everyone important in this bright existence practical tools to use in building it, to decorate it, paint It and furnish it in such a way to bring forth our finest work of art, with our poetry, song, moving pictures, new roles, transformed character arcs, and a most beautiful story of loss and learning, triumph and redemption, sacrifice and love… it’s being written one day at a time, to reveal “the ending” the Greater Creator had dearly intended for us all… for the honor of that beneficent force, and the idea that this LEGEND may be worthy and good enough to help others we will meet in their struggles and triumphs. – Je Suis Prest

About the Ended Fairytale

1 Nov

In response to the inquiring, rather than reply to each one, I offer an open statement to those who know me, or are acquainted with me, or sorta follow the happenings of my life as they appear and are curious about recent events in my life and the end of what seemed a fairytale dream; a version of love long sought and found:
A love of many years had endured in a special place in each of us, carried through the separate experiences of 15 years to eventually bring us back to one another. And though fate is in our favor when a bond is found as natural and effortless, it may not account for the outgrowths and transformation of time; in manner, habit, changing belief systems and shifting values, living desires, nor acquired fears.
For all the fired power of such an ancient and spiritual love, if met consistently enough by the service of fear, lack of awareness, defensiveness, blaming, distrust, or a host of other commonplace ego based traditions, the hold of it can be lost, the comprehension of its importance can be diminished. And its primacy as the original bonding material that created the union going in must remain the adherent coming through our challenges, or it is in peril. It requires a conscious willingness and sense of responsibility to that which is God given, from both, and a well directed faith that the power that brought us here will be the power to carry us through. If getting through is still the principle put before each personality, magical though they are. 
The Self and its masks can be a seductive tyrant. And that tyranny an apocalyptic train out. Ironically, eternal power and ancient beauty, timeless, in truth remain intact and unmarred after the deluge subsides, occupying their same safe place outside space and time. It’s still love out there. Unmovable. With the kindest intent as ever.

No fault

1 Nov

No one need be named “at fault”. No one is “the villain”. She is wonderful and has always been. I have immense admiration and respect for her motherhood, womanhood and beauty in and out. There are many years difference between where we started and here. Years shape us all differently to be still recognizable to each, but less in practice of serving the demands of a great and mystical fantasy. No one is wrong to have the desires they have, not me, nor she. They are just such that the dream could not withstand the stresses of reality, and sometimes it’s best for each to seek appropriate securities for survival and solace and those may not be located in the same place together. It is good, and right to want security and comfort for self and family. I will always be grateful for and cherish what grace gave us for a time. Until alas, our paths had other promise not in unity. God bless us all.

My Real Life, by #BDF

29 Oct

I have a fear, an impending tear, I’ve created some grief for the Gods

For all those who’d said that I chose to be dead, she could see I have beaten those odds

My best love’s been lost and I’m paying the cost of fears, masking my heart and my dreams

and as a pretender I’ve had to surrender to see beyond life as it seemed

in the name of my father, the wealth of my mother, I beg for my reckoning of sins

I pray to God my real life may begin, I pray to God my real life may begin

I have a love for great facts held above all I think, or I feel, or I dream

For all those who thought that I fought & ought not, she saw that the Gods are my team

But life’s old expected has been resurrected, And became what couldn’t be done

An anti-hero who tosses this greatest of losses, change that can’t and could never be won

and as a pretender I’ve had to surrender to see beyond life as it seemed

in the name of my father, the wealth of my mother, I beg for my reckoning of sins

I pray to God my real life may begin, I pray to God my real life may begin

#BDF

To build my redemption

28 Oct

When I put on a “shit show” I go gravely too far, and the guy I meet in it is not a guy I like at all, nor does or should anyone. The guy I met this time was ten times the ugly, the self loathing and the hurtful. I say this publicly, for there are many I hope will know, I’m giving up that self inflicted prison. I’m banishing the beast whom the ones I love most should never have to meet again. But that horrific being upped the game immeasurably, and it’s going to take more bare, bone deep, tearing down, honest, penitent and redeeming work than I have ever caused myself to do. Je suis prest. Yes, I am finally ready. “The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.”

-Lao Tzu

Great Fates, for My Wife, Angela McDonald Fraser

28 Oct

I played and prayed for a hand till she drew her gaze onto me

She’d seen me sitting, my praying befitting a chump like me

She won all the time but played for the dealer’s smile

Old man deal the cards, I said, get her to stay a while
, get her a permanent seat

God started to deal, she said she could feel this would be the luckiest hand all around

With all aces cheap and two cowboys deep, I played to win went all in and threw down

She said hey mister right if its aces all night
, I trust you wont break this heart that you take

Oh these great fates sometimes they bring us to weep

But I’ll let you sing me to sleep

Now come sing me to sleep

Pale shades of pink lighted eyes that saw behind the hand I held

Naked, I swore that nobody before saw, but she could tell

When I gave up the bluff, I saw the dealer smile

Old man deal the cards, she said, I want to stay a while
, I want this permanent seat

God started to deal, she said she could feel this
 would be the luckiest hand all around

With all aces cheap and two cowboys deep
, I played to win went all in and threw down

She said hey mister right if its aces all night
, I trust you wont break this heart that you take

Oh these great fates sometimes they bring us to weep

But I’ll let you sing me to sleep

Now come sing me to sleep

©2015 brent david fraser, Stratherrick Publishers, all rights reserved

Skarlit to my Albion Moonlight; She Is My Law

22 Oct

She was brought to me. At 22 she held a kind of charming, graceful confidence that was meant to propose a more sophisticated version of her character that ended up a compellingly inverse display of its intent. I was captivated. Coming off the tail of a recent romantic failure, well, let’s not say failure, but at least hindrance to getting full grasp of the gift of her, or, rather, the ability to declare such a grasp. She didn’t care or even make mention of my shortfall, she just stuck, and she stuck, and she stuck, right by me, beyond my hard guard of heart, beyond my masks for fear and hesitant pain, she knew. She knew way before me, she had the vision that originated us. I only saw the crescent; but Skarlit saw the whole of the moon. Angel to my intrepid demons, instrument to my song, the deliverance of an ideal I had previously only hoped to realize, an ideal to whom all others before and after would be compared and pale.

And how on earth could I lose her, let her be lost or fail her grace, you must ask. Pure and complicated stupidity, density; the better masks of shortcomings, fear, undeserving man’s complex… over and over lamenting her absence with only the feeblest attempts to make known to her that which had not been known… that she was the one… the one that got away, or so I thought. The universe, God, providence all work in the most “magical” way sometimes. It is no mystery why the Celtic devotion to the ethereal, the mystic, the poetic profundity of spiritual love is at the center of our millennea of searching and finding soul twins, anam Cara, for we are the ones branded in eternity by the fulfillment of that purpose of existence. She knew that. And so did I. But I would have to break myself, and regrettably test the stamp of centuries and calculated mystical love that joined us in order to crack myself open and break through to the acquired obsolete gristle and dreck that if I didn’t would always hold me short of loving her to rightful capacity. It’s a haunting roll of dice, throw of runes and gamble this soul of mine chose to push us into, the meaning of which will come to pass and be revealed. 

As I have always trusted her better leading of our souls to union, the greater purpose, the infinity of our hearts’ song, anything short of owning my ability to grab hold of her and carry and nurture her, and us, and be the man she is made for and deserves would ever be an intolerable disgrace to the God that made us for one another. She has always known that man, whereas I had yet to find him in me and only by the call, and needful demand of her essence to bring me to be that which she knew I would be. Skarlit is the trigger to the Godshot that has guided me to a comprehension of love, honor, integrity and honesty that I could never have otherwise known. And the light of her eyes, her smile that cracks open the sky, her laugh that shores up the convivial deficit in any room, her tears that bring our angels to weep and her hold that would assure this weary man of his true purpose in her are only the beginning of what Skarlit is for Albion. She is a law. She is my law.

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