I’ll Write It Down…

19 May

Five minutes down the mountain it started to rain. Wordlessly burbling, it ran across the top of the truck and down the windshield. I watched through the window, as the hands of the wind painted watery pictures on the glass, with the colors of the night and all the artistry of God. I considered how much too little it was to notice so lovely an image only thousands of times in a short life.

All knew the fire would be finished soon. All of us, almost immediately, viewed that night as a blessing rather than bad. The fire redeemed all of us in one way or another. It helped us to become people that we had only dreamed and desired to be, up to that point. People that we had burned to be, but on the inside of our human walls, where things burn hottest of all, sometimes without end.

Fran wasn’t hurt too bad, all things considered. His legs were broken, but he walks today. Ben is, as Fran, Better that ever. He, too, is soaring, he would say, except for a glitch here and there. I, Brent, make sure today that while I am alive, I LIVE. I still regularly think about my Father, but in a much different way. I have grown to honor him, and love him for who he is, no matter what…his life is not for me or anyone to judge. I think I might be the only person in the family who really just likes the guy…AND, we talk, and we share, and I learn from him. Fran and Ben and I plan on going fishing every year up at the lake. I anticipate that each year it will seem that the fire is still burning. For the three of us, I suspect it will be.

I have found no compassion, or hope, or dream in the world that is not mine. There is no man dying that when his just dead joy overtakes his soul, it is not felt by me. My transformation sees no lust or repentance, or sublime position, or mild endeavor, which does not rest in my fingertips, or taste in my spit. From here on, I am to be the poet whose poetry is his own marrow. The soldier who uncovers the most dangerous poetry and the most Godly resonance of the word. I am the child who will meet his heaven by the word. I will unveil the seams of the Universe and let it loose upon itself, and infinite other Universes with the word. When you crawl from ghastly wreckage and with your last breath, sigh at the overwhelming plight, predicament, and precious play your battle with death will be, and cry out to your Mother’s memory and God, and go willingly on to the rolling fields where the soul can play…I will be there, I will see, I will absorb, breathe it in…and I will write it down.

One Response to “I’ll Write It Down…”

  1. lookingforwardfrommypast5 May 22, 2006 at 7:03 pm #

    WOW..I only wish I could make my thoughts sounds so eloquent on paper..you shame me with your written brilliance. A wonderful, detailed, descriptive and personal piece. I do wonder what the fire was…

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