From Blindsided to Amends by #BDF

20 Jun

When blindsided, discarded, run from and left in silence, its hard to navigate sometimes while the motives of a clean spirit argue with the motives of a hurt heart, or just a hurt ego. Everyone involved is doing whatever they are doing having something to do with either love or fear and pain. I make mistakes out here, for all to see, I make proclamations that point to the wrongdoings or the character of the other, all based in the truth of the actions taken up to this point. I make attempt to transmit peace and acceptance too, that speak better the motives i have based in a higher and more loving process. Where I have done wrongs, I am determined to find and admit, and one day amend. Where i still do them, I hope to find the forward motion that quells the desire to do them, and continues to accept my part in it and quiets the hurt child inside and comes to peace with the fact that no amount of protest will change what’s going on with “them”. And even in the stark light of the truth and the facts, and how it still hurts to know them, I get a sick little twinge inside when I come back to realize that telling the truth so adamantly though perhaps not necessarily “wrong”, it doesn’t put my heart at rest to know i am retaliating somewhere in my need to tell it. If one, anyone, chooses hope, there is always the possibility for change. I can’t know without question what is really going on in the hearts and minds of others. I must keep going in the light of my own peace and return to ways of compassion and loving. For me, and me alone and my best chance of growth to better life. Thank you for your support and guidance in these. #BDF

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