My Real Life, by #BDF

29 Oct

I have a fear, an impending tear, I’ve created some grief for the Gods

For all those who’d said that I chose to be dead, she could see I have beaten those odds

My best love’s been lost and I’m paying the cost of fears, masking my heart and my dreams

and as a pretender I’ve had to surrender to see beyond life as it seemed

in the name of my father, the wealth of my mother, I beg for my reckoning of sins

I pray to God my real life may begin, I pray to God my real life may begin

I have a love for great facts held above all I think, or I feel, or I dream

For all those who thought that I fought & ought not, she saw that the Gods are my team

But life’s old expected has been resurrected, And became what couldn’t be done

An anti-hero who tosses this greatest of losses, change that can’t and could never be won

and as a pretender I’ve had to surrender to see beyond life as it seemed

in the name of my father, the wealth of my mother, I beg for my reckoning of sins

I pray to God my real life may begin, I pray to God my real life may begin

#BDF

To build my redemption

28 Oct

When I put on a “shit show” I go gravely too far, and the guy I meet in it is not a guy I like at all, nor does or should anyone. The guy I met this time was ten times the ugly, the self loathing and the hurtful. I say this publicly, for there are many I hope will know, I’m giving up that self inflicted prison. I’m banishing the beast whom the ones I love most should never have to meet again. But that horrific being upped the game immeasurably, and it’s going to take more bare, bone deep, tearing down, honest, penitent and redeeming work than I have ever caused myself to do. Je suis prest. Yes, I am finally ready. “The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.”

-Lao Tzu

Great Fates, for My Wife, Angela McDonald Fraser

28 Oct

I played and prayed for a hand till she drew her gaze onto me

She’d seen me sitting, my praying befitting a chump like me

She won all the time but played for the dealer’s smile

Old man deal the cards, I said, get her to stay a while
, get her a permanent seat

God started to deal, she said she could feel this would be the luckiest hand all around

With all aces cheap and two cowboys deep, I played to win went all in and threw down

She said hey mister right if its aces all night
, I trust you wont break this heart that you take

Oh these great fates sometimes they bring us to weep

But I’ll let you sing me to sleep

Now come sing me to sleep

Pale shades of pink lighted eyes that saw behind the hand I held

Naked, I swore that nobody before saw, but she could tell

When I gave up the bluff, I saw the dealer smile

Old man deal the cards, she said, I want to stay a while
, I want this permanent seat

God started to deal, she said she could feel this
 would be the luckiest hand all around

With all aces cheap and two cowboys deep
, I played to win went all in and threw down

She said hey mister right if its aces all night
, I trust you wont break this heart that you take

Oh these great fates sometimes they bring us to weep

But I’ll let you sing me to sleep

Now come sing me to sleep

©2015 brent david fraser, Stratherrick Publishers, all rights reserved

Skarlit to my Albion Moonlight; She Is My Law

22 Oct

She was brought to me. At 22 she held a kind of charming, graceful confidence that was meant to propose a more sophisticated version of her character that ended up a compellingly inverse display of its intent. I was captivated. Coming off the tail of a recent romantic failure, well, let’s not say failure, but at least hindrance to getting full grasp of the gift of her, or, rather, the ability to declare such a grasp. She didn’t care or even make mention of my shortfall, she just stuck, and she stuck, and she stuck, right by me, beyond my hard guard of heart, beyond my masks for fear and hesitant pain, she knew. She knew way before me, she had the vision that originated us. I only saw the crescent; but Skarlit saw the whole of the moon. Angel to my intrepid demons, instrument to my song, the deliverance of an ideal I had previously only hoped to realize, an ideal to whom all others before and after would be compared and pale.

And how on earth could I lose her, let her be lost or fail her grace, you must ask. Pure and complicated stupidity, density; the better masks of shortcomings, fear, undeserving man’s complex… over and over lamenting her absence with only the feeblest attempts to make known to her that which had not been known… that she was the one… the one that got away, or so I thought. The universe, God, providence all work in the most “magical” way sometimes. It is no mystery why the Celtic devotion to the ethereal, the mystic, the poetic profundity of spiritual love is at the center of our millennea of searching and finding soul twins, anam Cara, for we are the ones branded in eternity by the fulfillment of that purpose of existence. She knew that. And so did I. But I would have to break myself, and regrettably test the stamp of centuries and calculated mystical love that joined us in order to crack myself open and break through to the acquired obsolete gristle and dreck that if I didn’t would always hold me short of loving her to rightful capacity. It’s a haunting roll of dice, throw of runes and gamble this soul of mine chose to push us into, the meaning of which will come to pass and be revealed. 

As I have always trusted her better leading of our souls to union, the greater purpose, the infinity of our hearts’ song, anything short of owning my ability to grab hold of her and carry and nurture her, and us, and be the man she is made for and deserves would ever be an intolerable disgrace to the God that made us for one another. She has always known that man, whereas I had yet to find him in me and only by the call, and needful demand of her essence to bring me to be that which she knew I would be. Skarlit is the trigger to the Godshot that has guided me to a comprehension of love, honor, integrity and honesty that I could never have otherwise known. And the light of her eyes, her smile that cracks open the sky, her laugh that shores up the convivial deficit in any room, her tears that bring our angels to weep and her hold that would assure this weary man of his true purpose in her are only the beginning of what Skarlit is for Albion. She is a law. She is my law.

Brent David Fraser, first 5 minutes of a 1 hr interview in bonus features of the film Dark Side of Genius DVD, about his WHOLE CAREER, & Secrets no one knew.

5 Sep

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pM7yW-Nn3gE&feature=share

#BrentDavidFraser, first 5 minutes of an hour long interview in the bonus features of the film #DarkSideOfGenius DVD (#ScorpionReleasing), a full hour talk about his WHOLE CAREER, and some Secrets nobody knew. This clip is a great first story of how, as a teenager, he decided to follow his dreams in the Entertainment Industry, with the nudge of then friend, now deservedly successful actor, #BillyBurke. #CathyHenderson #ClassOf1999 #TheChocolateWar  #FinolaHughesBDF Finola Kiss

I Wanted You, Oh Angela

30 Aug

I wanted you, you were “the one”,

If any I could have,

I wanted to live, live in your sun,

And right that I should have,

I wanted to love, love without pause,

Best that I would have,

I wanted peace, peace for our cause,

Like all of the good have,

Now all want is that you’ll look at me,

With some of the magic that you used to see,

As back in the days when I was a knight, 

And you were my Princess, and love was our light,

Back then what I wanted brought fear, I was haunted, 

I’m begging that now this will last…

I want what can never be lost,

and never be past…

Oh, Angela, oh Angela, oh Angela…

#BDF

©2016 brent david fraser, all rights reserved

#davidrobertjonesbowie

14 Jan

We self identify, we come to a relationship of belief in those artists who show us themselves and in so doing show us ourselves and by that road what we invest of our thought dreams in that depth of our spirit water is proportionate to what we accept from the collective self. In that way, david Bowie becomes a gift from ourselves to ourselves and from us he accepts the gift of himself to his greater freedom too.

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