Tag Archives: consideration

Bed Written, by #BDF

20 Jun

The illusion of betrayal, and things being done to me has overwhelmed me. And just where do I live? From the heart, and with an imminent mixture of my mind’s emotions, I am left alone and with everyone, to battle and eventually, conquer? The victory being, in the end, to have compassion and love and forgiveness for those who, in my mind, have betrayed me, still betray me. There is no thought or visceral feeling to me now that has a more insidious taste. And is my chosen understanding an effort to kill myself, my heart, my spirit, or at least sublimate my blessed, poor self? Just where do I live? God’s plan for me, my plan for me being the same, is interesting to say the least…  and terrifying to be true, which at times I am. Stumbling onto those things which I would leave at this time better unsaid, and left to be emptied from this ashtray. To get to the deeper stab, emptied by my own hand moved by the hand of God, in agreement. The hand of compassion, the hand of love, and forgiveness, and barrels and barrels of understanding. Lord help me to be a friend to myself first. The demons I call my friends, they wait so patiently, seemingly uninterested. #BDF

Remember That Love, by #BDF

20 Jun

And we made fists with our hearts and we pretended to have motion. But we stayed so close and held fast to the only friend we knew would always be there: Our own self-loathing. I recall we were going to rent a car and drive to the mountains, or the islands on the ferry. Take the passenger boat to Catalina. We absorbed the whole security of having the option to go somewhere. The museum, the park, the ocean, anyplace far enough away to distract us and enhance the pitiful agreement to live together through it all. The groping need to have a good experience, finally. To share something exciting and new. To toss it upon ourselves as casually as candy to the tongue. We thought about it, vocalized the need, the desire. Then the urge would subside, overtaken by the impulse to destroy us, and each other, our opponent and its reflection. and the underlying, overbearing, desperation-defined hope. The wish. The truly heartfelt desire for something or someone better or healthier took a terribly long time to pull us away or rather to break us free from our chosen bond, our chosen lies and illusion. So much wasted, so much gained. #BDF

Kindness and Consideration by #BDF

20 Jun

It’s never wrong to try to take into consideration the feelings of as many as you can for the greater good. Making efforts to set aside your singular needs to make room for others is a respectable way to live. But understand that the vulnerability you fearlessly reveal may confuse and frighten those who do not understand that way, and inspire even more attack or sabotage from them. They don’t know any other way. So of course, don’t martyr yourself for their lack of understanding or empathy. Self preservation is an approach that keeps us available to help others too. It’s a fine line, and I of all people do not walk it with spiritual perfection, but I do make my best attempts to walk it with spiritual progress. #BDF

Real Power by #BDF

20 Jun

There’s no power in doing the things that you shouldn’t,
the POWER’s in knowing you could, but you wouldn’t.
-BDF

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