Tag Archives: hope

From Blindsided to Amends by #BDF

20 Jun

When blindsided, discarded, run from and left in silence, its hard to navigate sometimes while the motives of a clean spirit argue with the motives of a hurt heart, or just a hurt ego. Everyone involved is doing whatever they are doing having something to do with either love or fear and pain. I make mistakes out here, for all to see, I make proclamations that point to the wrongdoings or the character of the other, all based in the truth of the actions taken up to this point. I make attempt to transmit peace and acceptance too, that speak better the motives i have based in a higher and more loving process. Where I have done wrongs, I am determined to find and admit, and one day amend. Where i still do them, I hope to find the forward motion that quells the desire to do them, and continues to accept my part in it and quiets the hurt child inside and comes to peace with the fact that no amount of protest will change what’s going on with “them”. And even in the stark light of the truth and the facts, and how it still hurts to know them, I get a sick little twinge inside when I come back to realize that telling the truth so adamantly though perhaps not necessarily “wrong”, it doesn’t put my heart at rest to know i am retaliating somewhere in my need to tell it. If one, anyone, chooses hope, there is always the possibility for change. I can’t know without question what is really going on in the hearts and minds of others. I must keep going in the light of my own peace and return to ways of compassion and loving. For me, and me alone and my best chance of growth to better life. Thank you for your support and guidance in these. #BDF

Fresh Air

21 Jan

I remember thinking that this stinking town would be the death of me,
isn’t that an old cliche, the cynics say
I wish I was joking, I’ve been choking, metaphorically,
I know so many ways to while away the day

my mind pollution’s left me bare, but i’ll keep fighting, i don’t care,
i’ll drink in your light, you’re everywhere, to me,
you’re a breath of fresh air, fresh air,
I bet I know you and you’re my breath of fresh air

out from under rubble, feeling double the man I was yesterday,
let’s run to the hills and see how naked we can be
I will play today again the way a boy does naturally,
and you can join me if you like the world I see

bridge: and all we have is time, to find the meaning,
the sublime, and I can’t promise you that I’d lasso the moon,
but I will promise you I’d try, I promise I would try…

© 2010 brent david fraser, all rights reserved

The Heart Is A Hole

4 Jan

she asked me where I came from, I told her the pacific
she looked at me, sarcastically she said, could you be less specific
not tonight my dear, not tonight let’s not say anything at all
she asked me for a napkin, the silence then was broken
as the makeup ran across her face I was sorry at how I’d spoken
it’s alright my dear, it’s alright I’ll tell you everything I know

I said I got a tiny hole in the world, there aren’t that many tears
and I’m not the only one who lives there you can bet. there’s some sort of a religion,
I choose to call it faith, it’s the evidence of everything I don’t have yet
my heart is a hole in the world, my heart is a hole in the world…

she asked if it was plentiful, I said yeah, but it ain’t too much
I showed her several pictures, and I told her look but please don’t touch,
they’ll fall apart my dear, they’ll fall apart they’re very old and twice as worn
she asked me for directions, looked like she could cry again
she thought she’d seen as lovely a place, she didn’t know where or when
it’s in your heart my dear, it’s in your heart, has been all your life since you were born

she said I’ve got a tiny hole in the world but all I’ve got is tears
I only feel at home when my eyes are wet. I don’t have any religion
I’ve barely got my faith, it’s everything I hope for and then regret,
her heart is a hole in the world, her heart is a hole in the world…

she asked if she would see me there I said yes if she was looking
she said how will I recognize you, I said I wear a bag I carry a book in
I never read she said I never read is there something you could recommend
she asked if she could live there, I said that’s not up to me she asked why I’m so cold
when she shows her insecurity, I try not to need my dear, I try not to need,
is that something you can comprehend

you see the heart is a hole in the world filled with laughter filled with tears
and it’s deeper than any other hole can get, there are hundreds of religions
they all depend on faith, if there’s one that doesn’t I haven’t found it yet,
the heart is a hole in the world, the heart is a hole in the world…

© 2010 brent david fraser, all rights reserved

A Teardrop

31 Dec

midnight’s making her way to the Lonely Hotel
she hopes there‘s someone there for her to greet
she say’s she’s only looking for the man from Heytown city
the one who sang her melodies so sweet

and she cries at night for every time he packed and moved along
she says that she is his and only his
she looks upon the moon, like a great big gray balloon
a teardrop, that’s all her memory is

daylight is her middle name, like every bright new dawn
and on her knees she prays to see it through
with every ounce of courage and any will she has left
she holds on to the love she knows is true

and she cries at night for every time he sang her sweet love songs
she says forever is not long enough at all, she looks upon the stars
while the angels play guitars
a teardrop just took her for a fall

long fight is the only name she has for this one love
if only she could rest to see the sun
she says she’s only looking for the man from Heytown city
forever she’ll be for him, or be for none

and she cries at night for every time he brushed away her tears
she says she only longs for his embrace
she looks upon the land and waits for his strong hand
a teardrop rolls softly down her face

and she cries at night for every time he brushed away her tears
she says she only longs for his soft touch
she looks upon the land and waits for his strong hand
a teardrop, that’s all, it isn’t much

© 2010 Brent David Fraser, all rights reserved

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